posted by Rebecca Walker at 1:12 AM
I some agree with this article for the simple fact that disney-hollywood romance is only a fantasy and that we tend to seek that without looking at the core values of a man such as honesty, integrity, menal and spiritual health, etc. It sounds so wonderful and I like many women sooo wanted that in my husband and even lemented so much I forgot about his great core values. I also understand that in this day and age marriage does not always last forever and if I ever divorced I would not marry again. Some call it bitterness but I call it a peace of mind pact I have made for myself. Will I ever find myself settling? I don't think so. Should other women settle and overlook things that turn them off for the sake of having a family life and hatching those eggs by the age of 40? I don't think so. In this day and age women have to juggle so much and so much is demanded of women in terms of childcare, career, education, as well as marriage. Women are constantly running and no woman should ever race home to clean up after and cook for a man that grates her nerves for the sake of not being alone. Women still perform most of the household chores if not all, prepare the meals, and expected to also make the bucks. Does not always sound like a great deal to me. Oh, I forgot, be a full-time mother on top of everything. That is why I say, if you are going to tie the not make sure the man is damn-well worth it and if you are disgusted by him, bored by him, or not even inspired by him cut him loose and don't waste anytime. As for Ross and Rachel's reunion I was disappointed. Would it had been so disappointing for the fans if Rachel had went to Paris to pursue her dreams and left Ross choking on her dust because he never had anything real to offer in the first place? Why couldn't he visit her in Paris a few times a year and prove to her that he is a stand-up kind of guy and at least she could make a well-balanced decision. Would it be so bad if she had an opportunity to "toss her beret in the air" and declare a new beginning as opposed to hashing out the same old tired issues in "Central Perk" with a man who has proven himself not only unstable but disloyal?Marriage is a good thing if you can deal with the ebbs and tides in an effort to relax and enjoy on shore, but being single can also be great for the same reasons. If you are childless, like myself, enjoy the peace and other things that make you happy.
I disagree on the basis that women need more than to settle for someone who can just bring home the bacon and provide while women not only work, but fulfill the caretaking role as well. That is not a win-win situation. Burning the candle at both ends is not a win-win situation. If if women are offered the "luxury" of becoming a "full-time" mom haven't studies shown us that most of these women are depressed? Yes, women need to focus on core values on a man and not throw him away because his eyebrows are too skinny or he has lovehandles. Of course, women may not want to find themselvs pining away at Disney-Hollywood romance, but women may not want to find themselves in passionless and cold marriages, or find themselves with men that are impotent; sexually, emotionally, and intellectually. Because of our impending doom of reaching 40 we should not be psychically forced to rush into marriages that are draining and unfulfilling. What kind of justice is that for the offspring? In more ways than one, women have a right to be picky. Not only are we expected to bring home the bacon, we are also expected to cook it and serve it. We either should do this for ourselves or no one at all.
As an adoptee and a feminist, I am dismayed that feminism (which to me means equality) has led to people not considering the feelings of the children that they are so desperate to produce. Anonymous sperm and egg donations mean that people are intentionally bringing children into the world not knowing anything about one side of their ancestry. I don't agree with the "you need a man" or "you need two parents" mindsets, but I do think it's only fair to give a potential child all the information they might need for a healthy identity.
This is a really interesting article. I am in my early 30's and I freaked out when my hipster lazy cousin just married this great woman- I felt happy for him but concerned for her. What bums me out is how much women settle-including myself. I have been with a boyfriend for years (who's a good guy but not ambitious) and I was so pushing the marriage thing (not because it matters to me but because he is Catholic it feels to him like I don't take it seriouslyunless we do) and now I just don't care anymore. I could actually not get married because I care so little. It is scary because I want kids and I don't want to be single mom-but I am finding that I feel I need to work on myself some I have lost myself so much in my relationship.That whole "He's Just Not Into You" phenomenon depresses me though. Here's a guy with spiky hair like a teenager making money because he has the audacity to tell women how to do things. I wish men would be given less latitude but I guess we are to blame for it. The more Hollywood movies I see with ugly immature guys getting hot girls the more I want to puke. But it is a reality. Maybe it is better to create what we want first in our lives and hope someone good comes along. Kind of like Field of Dreams-build the life you want and he will come. I wish I would have done that in my 20's. Now I have to figure it out in my 30's with the biological clock ticking. I have never been boy crazy in fact I think in 2008 mysogyny is at a fever pitch. Women are supposed to perfect and guys can just enjoy or debate the perfection. It's rough. And women make it harder on each other too. If women were nicer to each other think how revolutionary that would be instead of having whole industries about competing to be the hottest mother or best organic mom etc etc while men bop around to their favorite records and download porn. Ok, enough bumming out.
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